i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
