There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
