And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
