i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
