You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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