that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
zippers are such a cool invention
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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