With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
