I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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