wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
