I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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