I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
