Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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