We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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