I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize