i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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