Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
