i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
