yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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