Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
