at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
