is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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