yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
