I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
