We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
