I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
