He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
