areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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