He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
