how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize