why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
