i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
