Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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