i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
