Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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