The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
