Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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