Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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