2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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