we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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