i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
