end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
