remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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