Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
