Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He felt like a one man threesome
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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