She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize