You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
