Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
