Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

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(647): View more from Ontario

Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.

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