Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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