WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
