Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
