the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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