Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
