Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just googled if crying burns calories
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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