At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
