Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
