ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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