We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
