Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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