Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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