Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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