Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
