help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
