I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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