jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
