shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
