NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
