I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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