i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
