Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
