What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
is that a dick in a sweater?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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